Is Jealousy a Sign of Love or Insecurity?

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When you get into a new relationship, everything is all lovey-dovey, the romance and love still burning. Then you start noticing that your partner is abnormally possessive of you.

You can’t have time with your friends anymore. Your partner wants you all for themselves. What does this mean for your relationship? Are these red flags a sign of love or a sign of insecurity?

Insecurity can be a result of childhood experiences, past traumas, failure or rejection, perfectionism or low self-esteem. Leading to signs of unhealthy jealousy even when not intended.

Insecurities in you or your partner can create havoc in your relationship. It can make you feel as though you are not enough for your partner. It tampers with your confidence in your relationship, and what seemed as harmless jealousy, can turn into a living nightmare fueled by the insecurities.

The following show signs of unhealthy jealousy in your relationship.

1. You’re a Suspect in Your Home

In some cases, you are treated like a suspect in your home. Your partner starts questioning every decision you make that doesn’t involve them.

For instance, the time you spend away from home with your office mates or friends is questioned. You find your phone or computer privacy intruded by your partner to find out what you have been doing.

2. Your Partner becomes a Control Freak

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You may start feeling as if your partner wants to control your life. The little things you used to have for fun, are not fun anymore. Since they want you all to themselves, they interfere with your space and free time. They start showing you how your ‘thing’ should be done.

3. Your Partner doesn’t Want to Share You

Your partner starts spending more time with you a lot more than a normal person should be able to. They tell you flattering comments like ‘no one can love you the way I do, that’s why I want you all to myself’ or ‘I can’t bear to share you’.

All this makes you feel like you are the luckiest person alive to have found this ‘true love’. But as time passes by, you find that they're not letting you have any life away from them. They want your life to be satuared by them.

4. Unhealthy Possessiveness

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Constantly, your partner is always calling or texting to check your warebouts.Communication is an important aspect in a relationship. Checking on your partner is healthy. What crosses the line however is too much consistency within the same period. It shows a lack of trust and possessiveness.

Most people find jealousy in a relationship in the first stages as sweet and beautiful. When the jealousy feelings advance and get too deep and out of hand, then you feel imprisoned in your relationship. Something that's supposed to be effortless and free, becomes mentally straining and emotionally draining.

Harmless Little Signs of Jealousy can be Adorable and Cute

When there’s nothing but love fueling it. But with insecurities fueling the jealousy, then the relationship can never work. Because you or your partner are still fighting your own demons and adding another person to the mix can be diabolical.

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With love, a little jealousy is allowed but when it gets out of hand then it becomes dangerous. When you notice these signs with your significant other, talk to them about how it's affecting you and to ease insecurity always reassure them of your love for them and committment.

If it's out of hand and it gets dangerous you can get help from a professional counselor, who can help you solve any underlying issues within your relationship.To make your relationship blossom to something beautiful.

Check out GBS TV blog post for more advice on relationships and much more.


Author

Leah Mwihaki